Perception is reality or so I've been told...

I came to the conclusion a few years ago that I perceive WAY too much. It's like being on hyperdrive all the time. For many years, I would lie awake at night going over the day, the week, the month, the year. I would try to recall things that were said...was it about me? I wondered if this was everyone's reality.

I cry...often. I laugh hard...often. I get angry...easily. I'm overwhelmed daily by something I perceive. I get my feelings hurt easily. I've spent a lot of time trying to medicate these perceptions. I've spent time ignoring these perceptions.

I'm trying to accept me and my inner clock work. My over-perceptive mind allows me to soar to unimaginable heights. But I then look for that feeling all the time and I expect people to also reach for that. The beauty that lives in my mind doesn't exist for everyone. It's difficult to express and I am often frustrated when trying to verbalize what I visualize. For example, I can see, taste, smell, hear and touch what a song should be. I lose sight of the fact that not all people can do this. I get impatient. I often forget that people were patient, are patient with me.

I'm working this out. I am praying for a patient heart. I ask God twice, sometimes thrice daily to give me a patient heart...with my children, with my family, with my friends...maybe their perceptions are damaged by something I've said or done. I will be exploring new ways of expressing my vision...this being one. Thank you for your patience. :)